Current mood:

determined

decision and resolution
In the new year, I will make an effort to not overcommit myself. Instead of feeling "like butter spread over too much bread", I'm going to commit to what is important, focus my attention on the relationships that I value and stop taking on extra stuff and too many new ventures. When I can't make it to something, I'm going to apologize, decline and not feel bad about it. If I'm not sure if I can make it, I'm not going to say "I'll probably be there", but instead "I might be there". Does it make a difference? To me it does. If I say "probably", that means "yes" in my head. If I say "maybe", it gives me room to decide what's best without feeling guilty.
I just feel like in the past year with all the wedding stuff of my own and so many other people, plus packing (which was ongoing all year, little by little) and then unpacking (which still isn't done), I haven't had time for me, for us, to do what is important. I haven't read a book in so long that to figure out how long would put me in tears. I haven't finished a single knitting project for fun in ages (though 's wedding shawl was worth every second I put into it and to this day is still the most special and rewarding project I've ever done). Our home still isn't the way we want it and we're still living out of too many boxes, searching for things as we need them instead of knowing exactly where they are.
With grad school starting, my free time is going to be even more scarce and I will end up going crazy like in college when I had full-time classes, part- to full-time work and full-time theatre.

So, in 2008, I resolve to:
-take care of myself
-take care of Dave
-take care of our home
-manage my time better
-focus on the big stuff
-not overcommit myself.

You will not see me joining knitalongs, swaps, secret whatevers, because it's not as much fun to live by constant deadlines. I have blogged, either here or in my "primary" blog (bluejena), every day of this year. Am I joining the Blog365 thing? No. I'm not committing myself to upholding this, either. I'm done living for arbitrary goals and deadlines and rule-sets and such. I'm going to live for me. (And Dave.)